The surviving kit for decluttering your husband
To live is to adapt and not anticipate everything by holding on to items just in case.
Is your partner a “hoarder”?
- Live with piles of stuff?
- Keep storage boxes full of useless things?
- Store clothes that don’t fit him anymore?
- Hold onto too many things that have sentimental value?
Communication is the key!
His home is your home too. You live together!
Find a practical solution that can satisfy both of you.
Keep in mind that you might not have the same priority as far as what is essential: ask him why he is so attached to some old things he never uses but keeps so preciously.
If his stuff are really bothering you: Pack them in a box, write on it what’s in it and tell him you did move it to his “private space.”
Never throw his clutter away without asking him.
How to motivate your husband to declutter.
If your partner takes the first few steps to start the process, take responsibility for dealing with it. Offer your help but show him that you value his choices.
- Be his example first, start with clearing out your space.
- Encourage by acknowledging his effort.
- Treat his belongings with respect. He will listen and cooperate better.
- Avoid tension, and he will relax.
- Reassure him. Empathy and kindness are the clues.
- Do not rush him or he could cut off (The famous ‘man cave’!) and block you off.
Why does he keep so many things?
Your husband is human. Everyone is different when it comes to affection and attachment to objects.
Being surrounded by memories we do not want to get rid of is a need to be reassured that we are in our comfort zone.
Keeping items is a way of:
- Affirming our personality and proving that we EXIST most of the time.
- Staying in the past and being nostalgic about it.
- Being scared about the future.
- Refusing to direct our energy fully in the present.
That’s why we cherish these items.
Accumulating things is also a way to prove our value, our power. It can be a way of dominating people.
Some ideas have to die, so we can breathe.
Your partner has ambitious projects sitting in the corner for the past 10 years and no time to complete them.
Time for a Memory Box?
We keep these patterns in our brains, telling ourselves stories and repeating them over and over. We are attached to labels: “I am too busy, I am so unorganised…” and that holds us back too.These excuses allow us to continue the bulimia, the greed to possess objects.
Ask yourself these questions when you get stuck or cannot take decisions: What really matters?
. The thing itself or the person who gave it to you?
. The place where you bought it or the event that it commemorates?
. What are your fears around it?
. Am I losing this item or losing the memory it triggers?
. Do I really need it to recall these memories?
Memories are held in your heart and always remembered.
Creating a beautiful “memory box” with personally selected items that you really love or embrace can be a way to share these memories.